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Some Inspiration From the Past

July 8th, 2013 | Posted by pftq in Essays | #
     These days I don't know what I'm doing anymore.  It seems completely illogical that I'd be on the path I am now given my history.  What am I doing just making songs or chasing stocks when I used to make games, movies, entire websites, etc?

     Sometimes I forget my frustrations, but every once in a while something like this shows up and just really tests my patience with myself:
     http://all-things-andy-gavin.com/2011/02/10/crash-bandicoot-as-a-startup/

     Besides the fact I use to play those games when I was younger, being able to form a team and produce something on that scale was something I've always dreamed of doing.  It's tough finding finding people of equal or better calibur though and even tougher to find those who share similar ambitions and drive.  Like the author, I also learned most of my programming myself (home-brewed), so it's really hard to relate to colleagues who otherwise never had an interest in programming before college.  Even disregarding that (it really doesn't matter when one starts), it's been difficult to find others that actually want to push the limits on their creativity and not just to find a decent paying job.  Where are the people who want to really get out there and see where how far they can go, who want to set the world on fire as opposed to leave as small a footprint on the world as possible? The part about the cofounders essentially leaving college to take the risk of forming the new team/company really gets to me; it's essentially what I've been trying to do throughout college, but I've more or less been stuck as a one-man show each time and that kills it for me.

     Having recently read Dark Pools as well (similar stories on the finance side during the 90s/2000s), I sometimes wonder if perhaps I should have been born a decade earlier.  It seems like I'm just so out of place.
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