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Ambitious Perfection

October 9th, 2008 | Posted by pftq in Essays | #
     People say I am ambitious. I seek objectives; I hunger for accomplishment. But to simply call me ambitious is an understatement. I am not hungry; I am starved, ravenous. I do not seek objectives; I make them. I cannot remain satisfied without a goal, a purpose, cannot remain satisfied even if I did have a goal or purpose. I must always have results, excitement, change. I must see the world blaze about me, hear the thunder of progress roar past me. I must smell achievement at every corner. I must taste the power of drive and anxiety.

     Yet I am also a perfectionist. I attain to every niche and detail of all that I do. If it holds but a single flaw, it must be fixed, redone, or scrapped from existence. My tolerance for the world is high, just not for myself. Everything I do must meet my expectations. No. Everything I do must exceed my expectations, must breathe and echo success.

     But how is this possible? How can one seek perfection but also be ambitious, desire quality but also quantity? Simple. While I spin out vast numbers of projects to suit my restlessness, I decisively expend time and energy to mold, to shape each work, to my liking.

     What does this mean to you and those around me? Nothing. I request nothing. I am entirely self-sufficient. Oh, but there's just one thing: I never sleep. Amidst the dark of night, one may find me hammering away nonstop. It could be my latest design, my school work, or simply my midnight snack.

     Rest assured though, I am very considerate. I would not dare think of offending my new guests, my new associates. More likely than not, one would find me willing to share my gains, my dreams, even my food, with those around me. I cannot help wondering, however, if they would give any thought to my behalf, not that I am easy to offend.
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