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NYC vs SF vs LA

March 15th, 2018 | Posted by pftq in Blabberbox | #
After splitting my time evenly between New York, San Francisco, and LA for about three years, a semi-humorous comparison of the three cities.

NYC
SF
LA
Money.
Make the world a “better” place.
I just want to be “happy.”
Honor.
Righteousness.
Entitlement.
Luxury.
Gadgetry.
Comfort.
Live to work.
Work is play.
Work to live.
Materialism and consumerism.
Tech and health.
Feelings and feel good.
Hardened.
Pampered.
Doesn’t want to move.
Does it make money?
How's it improve society?
What's it got to do with me?
Sell and finance things.
Create things.
Stylize things.
Mechanical Turk.
Machine automation.
No automation.
Tech = Man on foot fetched by app.
Tech = Autonomous drone.
Tech = Laundry machine w/o coins.
Backup servers in the same building.
Backup servers across the globe.
Still moving past CDs and VHS tapes.
GPS doesn’t work.
Can’t drive w/o GPS.
Can’t drive with a GPS.
Drives competently without tech.
Tries to follow GPS into a river.
Drives past you 4 times at full speed.
Four seasons.
Fog.
Smog.
City never sleeps.
Even the mall closes by 8pm.
Regular hours.
Can get 3 things done a day.
Can get 10 things done a day.
Takes all day just to get somewhere.
Subway goes everywhere.
Subway literally on one street only.
"Subway."
$1M for an apartment.
$1M for a closet.
$1M for brand new house of wood.
Old but quality buildings.
Tries to look like an old warehouse.
Actually is an old warehouse.
Having elevator operators is normal.
Sewage smell every block is normal.
Paper-thin walls & roof leaks normal.
People everywhere.
Siren noises everywhere.
Motorcycle noises everywhere.
Homeless give speeches.
Homeless scream all day and night.
Homeless rant about politics.
Rats on the subway tracks.
Needles and human feces on ground.
Garbage on every sidewalk.
Musicians jamming on street corner.
Homeless peeing on street corner.
Get shot on street corner.
Celebrate with festivals.
Celebrate by burning down own city.
Celebrate by being stuck in traffic.
Orderliness in desperate times.
Violence in the name of justice.
Punch whoever’s in closest proximity.
Shop away your tears.
Celebrate your failures.
Take pride in your weaknesses.
Spend free time trying to kill time.
Spend free time working or serving.
Spend free time "chilling."
Broadway.
N/A.
Hollywood.
Silicon Alley (Midtown).
Silicon Valley (Entire Bay).
Silicon Beach (Santa Monica).
Wall Street.
Embarcadero / SOMA.
N/A.
Brooklyn.
Oakland.
Los Angeles.
Service oriented no matter what it is.
Doors open wrong way (fire hazard).
15 minutes just to get the menu.
Decent food at all prices.
Expensive food or crap food.
Expensive crap food.
High cultured.
Mono cultured.
Blurgh-whatever cultured.
Rules.
Numbers.
I tried.
Punctual.
10 minutes late.
Hours to days late.
Passive aggressive.
Aggressively passive.
Blatantly shameless.
Conformatively independent.
Independently conformative.
Misery loves company.
Backed by what famous people said.
Backed by correlation = causation.
Backed by gut-feel.
Offended by how you do things.
Offended by your opinions.
Offended by your success.
Trying to politely be impolite.
Trying to save you from yourself.
Trying to justify taking from you.
Because you're uncivilized.
Because you're literally a bad person.
Because you have more than enough.
Think of how others remember you.
Think of your impact on the world.
What’s it matter if you die anyway?
B+ on everything.
Always either A+ or F.
A for effort.
Everything works at least half decent.
Half new, half assed.
At least there's the beach.

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