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NYC vs SF vs LA

March 15th, 2018 | Posted by pftq in Society | #
After splitting my time evenly between New York, San Francisco, and LA for about three years, a semi-humorous comparison of the three cities.

NYC
SF
LA
Money, status, and 9-5 life.
Make the world a “better” place.
I just want to be “happy.”
Honor and integrity.
Self-righteousness.
Whatever's popular.
Luxury.
Minimum viable product.
Comfort.
Live to work.
Work is play.
Work to live.
Passions are just hobbies.
Careers are passions.
Passions are careers.
Dreams of office job with a hobby.
Dreams of serving society.
Dreams of fame and popularity.
Podcast stars.
Tech stars.
YouTube stars.
Lack of adventure.
Lack of imagination.
Lack of authenticity.
Authority, rules, and norms.
Tech and "social validation."
Feelings and feel good.
Hardened.
Pampered.
Doesn’t want to move.
Weight on shoulders.
Guilt chipped at every turn.
Room to breathe.
Unfairness is part of life.
Fight unfairness with unfairness.
Unfairness is ok if I benefit.
Too busy to meet.
Too important to meet.
Too lazy to meet.
Does it make money?
How's it improve society?
What's it got to do with me?
Repackage and refine.
Create new and uncharted.
Consume and regurgitate.
Mechanical Turk.
Machine automation.
No automation.
Man on foot fetched by app.
Autonomous cars and drones.
Laundry machine finally w/o coins.
Backup servers in the same building.
Backup servers across the globe.
Not my problem.
GPS doesn’t work.
Can’t drive w/o GPS.
Can’t drive with a GPS.
Drives well without tech.
Tries to follow GPS into a river.
Drives past you 4 times at full speed.
Four seasons.
Fog.
Smog.
City never sleeps.
Even the mall closes by 8pm.
Pockets of life in wasteland.
Can get 3 things done a day.
Can get 10 things done a day.
Takes all day just to get somewhere.
Subway goes everywhere.
Subway literally on one street only.
"Subway."
Public transit frequent and usually on time.
Buses late and rarely come.
Bus driver laughs and tells you to chill.
$1M for a studio apartment.
$1M for a closet.
$1M for house of cheap wood.
Old but functional buildings.
Spends to look like a warehouse.
Actually is an old warehouse.
Having elevator operators is normal.
Sewage smell every block is normal.
Paper-thin walls & roof leaks normal.
People everywhere.
Siren noises everywhere.
Motorcycle noises everywhere.
Homeless give speeches.
Homeless scream all day and night.
Homeless rant about politics.
Rats on the subway tracks.
Needles and human feces on ground.
Garbage on every sidewalk.
Musicians jamming on street corner.
Homeless peeing on street corner.
Get shot on street corner.
Celebrate with festivals.
Celebrate by vandalizing own city.
Celebrate by being stuck in traffic.
Orderliness in desperate times.
Violence in the name of justice.
Punch whoever’s in closest proximity.
Shop away your tears.
Celebrate your failures.
Take pride in your weaknesses.
Spend free time killing time.
Spend free time working.
Spend free time "chilling."
Board gamers.
"Gaymers".
YouTube gamers.
Broadway.
N/A.
Hollywood.
Silicon Alley (Midtown).
Silicon Valley (Entire Bay).
Silicon Beach (Santa Monica).
Wall Street.
Embarcadero / SOMA.
N/A.
Brooklyn.
Oakland.
Los Angeles.
Service oriented no matter what it is.
Doors open wrong way (fire hazard).
15 minutes just to get the menu.
Decent food at all prices.
Expensive food or crap food.
Expensive crap food.
$15 for 2 slices of toast and sides.
$15 for just the toast.
$15 for burnt toast.
Apologizes for bad service.
It's a feature, not a bug.
But I already got your money. It's mine.
Your fault for being different.
Your fault for being in the way of progress.
Your fault for letting me get away with it.
High cultured.
Mono cultured.
Blurgh-whatever cultured.
Rules.
Numbers.
I tried.
Punctual.
10 minutes late.
Hours to days late.
Passive aggressive.
Aggressively passive.
Blatantly shameless.
Conformatively independent.
Independently conformative.
Misery loves company.
Backed by what famous people said.
Backed by correlation = causation.
Backed by gut-feel.
Sales pitching in casual conversation.
Lectures w/out knowing anything about you.
Always talking about the sun and weather.
"Helps" by telling you it's not possible.
"Helps" you by changing your goal rather than achieving it.
"Helps" by just saying random positive things.
Offended by how you do things.
Offended by your opinions.
Offended by your success.
Trying to politely be impolite.
Trying to save you from yourself.
Trying to justify taking from you.
Because you're uncivilized.
Because you're literally a bad person.
Because you have more than enough.
Don't see it, so it's not true.
Didn't hear a word you said, but this is the answer.
Everything's subjective, so my opinion can't be wrong.
Think of how others remember you.
Think of your impact on the world.
What’s it matter if you die anyway?
B+ on everything.
Always either A+ or F.
A for effort.
Everything works at least half decent.
Half new, half assed.
At least there's the beach.

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